6 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child
Have you heard of an inner child? In analytical psychology, the term inner child refers to an individual’s child-like aspect. Your inner child is an unconscious part of who you are.
Like everyone else, you were once a child and that piece of you lives inside of you. Your inner child is a psychological reality. That should be taken seriously. When dealing with an unhealthy childhood you may have learned to internalize negativity. After repeatedly being mistreated, you might think you deserve to be treated poorly. In that way, your inner child can become wounded. You might not have gotten over the pain of that event, even if you think you did If any of the following applies to you, you might have a wounded inner child.
- You fear abandonment.
Do you often worry that the people in your life are going to leave you eventually? Do you feel like you’re unworthy of love? If so, you might unconsciously push people away, because nothing anyone does can convince you that they are true and committed. You’d rather be alone than be abandoned. This common fear of abandonment is arguably one of the most damaging fears of all. Our behaviors and actions in current relationships are the result of old fears and learned concepts that took place in our childhood.
2. You have inappropriate guilt.
Did your parents blame you a lot as a child? When adults make children feel responsible for things outside of their control, this can leave you with feelings of unnecessary guilt, even in adulthood. When you’ve done something wrong, it’s normal to feel guilt. However, when your unwarranted sense of guilt doesn’t fit your current circumstances, this can be a sign of a wounded inner child. This feeling most likely means you were made to feel frequent guilt in your childhood, and you never healed from it.
3. You have trust issues.
Were you constantly lied to cheated on or manipulated in your childhood Since then you’re always wary of other people’s intentions. To avoid experiencing the same kind of anxiety and heartache all over again, you develop trust issues as a defense mechanism. But the truth is, not everyone is going to mistreat you. And if you hold onto this belief that everyone will hurt you, it prevents you from getting close to people who do truly love you. Such issues often stem from a wounded inner child who learned early on that people can’t be trusted.
4. You have a fear of setting boundaries.
How much of yourself will you give to other people? Do you find it hard to properly enforce the boundaries you’ve set for yourself? Boundaries are the rules we create in our own minds to help us figure out how much we’ll let other people get away within our lives. Perhaps you’re a people pleaser, unable to say no when someone asks you for a favor. You could be afraid to hurt their feelings or maybe you’re just not good at speaking your mind. This is another sign of a wounded inner child.
5. You get angry easily.
Anger is a universal emotion that everyone feels at one point or another. In some cases, anger can be healthy to feel and express But when a person regularly loses their temper and struggles to manage it properly it signifies an underlying issue. Being overly angry can be the same as your inner child having a fit. It can mean that you’re holding on to a time when your needs weren’t met or your circumstances were unfair and frustrating.
6. You have trouble letting things go.
We bury our trauma and bring them with us from our childhood into adulthood whether we want to or not. Do you continue to think about arguments long after they’re over? Do you ruminate over bad things that happened even though you know you’d be happier if you just moved on? Or do you cling to things that are already over because it feels safer than accepting reality? This could all be because you’re experiencing symptoms of the baggage that was left behind in your past.
By looking at your past trauma, it helps you understand your behaviors and gets you to the root of your fears. Healing your inner child starts with expressing yourself, authentically, and without shame. Respect, accept, and make peace with your past self aka your inner child.
